


this is your beating heart

by haipollai



Category: Avengers (Comics), Captain America (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, F/F, Fluff, Friendship, Guest starring an annoying cat, Life after the military, M/M, Mentions of Carol's alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-05
Updated: 2013-04-05
Packaged: 2017-12-07 14:16:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/749453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haipollai/pseuds/haipollai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carol leans against the still newspapered door and watches her friend turn slowly in a circle. The space feels big and empty. It's only broken up by support pillars and a broken partition from when there was an office in there. And Steve Rogers right in the middle.</p><p>"This is crazy Carol," Steve says. She can tell he's doing his best to keep his voice neutral, he's not very good at hiding his emotions.</p><p>"Yea, well," she shrugs, not really having an argument against it. "If you don't want to be part of it, I get it. Really I do."</p>
            </blockquote>





	this is your beating heart

Carol looks at the piece of property. It's a two story brick building next to another two story brick building, next to another and all the way down the block. Over the years people have come through and changed the store fronts. Some are now all glass, with neon signs proclaiming different alcohols and ATMs and one was a laundromat. The one right next door was a small coffee shop with tables visible filled with a variety of people. On the window someone had painted 'The Red Wing'.

The building right in front of her had big glass windows which had been plastered over with newspaper. She's lucky no one has broken them or damaged the outside too much, replacing windows right from the start would be expensive.

She has a feeling of being watched and glances up, trying to find the source and sees it right there, from the apartment above the coffee shop. The man shoots her a sheepish grin and disappears from the window.

Carol focuses on the place in front of her, palming the keys around in her hand. Everything in her screams about what a stupid idea this is. But these days, everything in her screams and sometimes it's hard to figure out what she's trying to tell herself in the chaos.

There's no other choice now, she's made her decision and takes a few steps forward to unlock the door.

-

Carol leans against the still newspapered door and watches her friend turn slowly in a circle. The space feels big and empty. It's only broken up by support pillars and a broken partition from when there was an office in there. And Steve Rogers right in the middle.

"This is crazy Carol," Steve says. She can tell he's doing his best to keep his voice neutral, he's not very good at hiding his emotions.

"Yea, well," she shrugs, not really having an argument against it. "If you don't want to be part of it, I get it. Really I do."

"No, it's not a judgment, don't be like that." He crosses his arms and faces her fully. She bites her lip before she calls bullshit on his statement about judgment, letting him finish out his thought. "You're really serious about this?"

"Serious as everything else in my life."

"Carol."

"Yes, I'm fucking serious. I bought the place, didn't I?" She jingles the keys as evidence of how serious she is.

Steve nods and takes another look around the place, taking in the ugly beige walls and the flickering overhead light. It needed work, but she knew that going in. This idea isn't going to be easy to pull off, but Carol didn't want easy. She wants something she could sink herself into and forget everything else. And she wants Steve to be there with her. She doesn't trust anyone else to hold her together.

He lets out a soft sigh and faces her. "So what do you want from me?"

"I want you to work with me."

Steve gives her a small smile. "I think we need to sit down to talk."

She doesn't like the sound of that at all but she follows him out and locks up behind him. He leads her straight to the coffee shop next door and pushes her to one of the empty tables while he goes to the counter to order. She fidgets with the keys while she waits, starting to wonder if maybe this really was a stupid idea. She was an airman, had been since the day she was eighteen and ROTC officially accepted her. What business did she have even considering opening a bookstore. This isn't her life. She should be back in her jet. Up above the clouds.

Except the Air Force didn't want her anymore. She was lucky to get out with her honorable discharge and a decent pension. Disability they called it. Carol sinks her head into her hands. Everything had become so upside in those last few months, the disability felt like a crutch.

Steve comes back to the table and sets a mug in front of her. 

"So you're going to open a bookstore," he says, directly to the point, ignoring her near breakdown.

She smiles tightly at him. "That's the plan." She takes a long sip of the coffee to calm her nerves. She had never planned out this speech. This is Steve, she didn't think she had to plan it, but now all the words escape her.

"And you want me to help?"

"Help, donate, be a co-owner. I know you're doing all the art stuff, I don't want to get in the way of that," she leans forward, starting to warm up to the topic. "I really want you to run it with me. You have the finer eye. I need you in this Rogers, even if you are just a soldier."

Steve mirrors her, leaning forward with his hands around his mug. "And why the hell are you doing this anyway?"

There's a million reasons she could give him. It's safe. She doesn't have anything else. The Air Force was everything. Being in the cockpit, feeling the all of nature fighting her and defying it anyway. She misses the burn of a drink and needs to keep busy before she throws away the chip she keeps around her neck. "I need something different," she finally says, not quite looking at Steve.

"This is definitely different." He reaches over the table and covers her hand with his. "So where do we start?"

Carol smiles in relief, feeling a bit more sure of herself. She's going to make a whole new start, the world be damned.

-

Sam wakes slowly, blinking against the bright light coming through the windows. He rolls onto his back, bumping his shoulder against Bucky's.

"Good morning," Bucky smiles at him, resting his book on his stomach to focus on him. 

"What time is it?" Sam pushes himself on an elbow to kiss Bucky.

"About seven, Kate's already opened up."

"Thank god for that girl. Gimme ten more minutes." He sighs and stretches back out, throwing a leg over Bucky's and resting his head on Bucky's chest. Bucky picks his book back up, letting Sam doze. "What are you reading?"

"Steve recommended it, crazy time travel adventure."

"Sounds exciting."

He can feel it as Bucky chuckles, vibrating through his chest into Sam. Better then any alarm clock at making his heart jump and race. He knows he should get up, he can hear the light scratching from Cassie at the door. "Your cat is awake," Bucky mumbles.

"I can hear him."

"I'm going to cook him into stew one day."

Sam curls his fingers in Bucky's dog tags and tugs lightly, until Bucky leans down for a kiss. Three years since injury led to his honorable discharge and he still wears them all the time. With a sigh Sam finally pushes himself up to start getting ready for his day. Bucky rests his book on his chest to watch him. "Has Steve told you about the big plans?"

"You mean the book store?" He manages to find clean briefs buried in the sock drawer. "Yea. We need to do laundry."

"You mean I need to do laundry." The book gets completely set aside so Bucky can roll onto his stomach, sprawled awkwardly across the bed so he can reach out. His fingers just barely graze Sam's side but it's enough to get him to drift back towards the bed.

"Yea, I mean you need to do laundry, you lazy motherfucker." He bends over for another kiss, wanting to feel Bucky's smile. "Don't you have class today?"

"Thursday. Gonna go the library later. Maybe look in next door, if anyone's there."

Sam reluctantly pulls away again. Bucky is intoxicating and warm. They can waste entire days in bed. But the cat is scratching at the door and downstairs, Kate will want some help. He finds a pair of jeans that don't sit right on his hips, which mean they're Bucky's and probably in need of a wash. For a second he thinks about changing, but then he sees the way Bucky watches him and decides to leave them on. It's the little things with Bucky that make everything else worth it. "Tell Steve hi for me."

"I can ask them over for coffee?"

"If you want, I'll be here all day." He finds a nice polo so he looks at least somewhat respectable. One last brush against Bucky's skin and he's headed for the door.

"Sam?"

The cat tangles himself around Sam's feet when he pauses. "Yea?"

"Love you. And this. Everything." He stares down at his book as if he's reading off the page, but Sam knows the words are his. They don't come easily or often so Sam knows he has to treasure each time.

"Love you too."

-

Carol looks at everything scattered around her and sighs. Everything is a mess. There are already boxes piled up against one wall with books in them. There's no shelves though, no where to put anything. The pieces are all scattered around her but she's been agonizing over how to lay the place out, and how best to use her space. 

She growls in aggravation and wads up the initial plans, throwing them as far away as possible. As if just to spite her, they hit the corner of one of the piles of materials and bounces back.

She kicks at it and gets to her feet. She's not getting anything done like this and Steve won't be able to get over for a few hours.

Feeling completely without options, she makes her way next door to the coffee shop. Maybe a drink will help. A change of scenery.

The place is almost empty. The girl busing tables shoots her a grin and a 'welcome to the Red Wing.' She spins on her heel and yells Sam towards the back of the shop. Moments later the man who must be Sam steps out from the backroom.

"Don't yell like that Kate," he says sternly before turning his attention to Carol. "Hi, how can I help you?"

"Um, just some tea. Black."

He nods and gets her a mug of hot water with a clean efficiency that she can't help but admire. "You're the one who bought the place next door, right?" He asks as he sets the mug on the counter with a slight flourish. A bag of tea is set on the saucer beside it. "Dollar sixty."

"Yea um, that's me." She digs the change out of her pocket.

"The last guy who owned it was a jackass. Kept on trying to buy me out." Sam leans against the counter. It's a nice image, Carol can't help but run an appreciative eye over him. "Promise you won't try the same?"

She quickly shakes her head, focusing on tearing open the tea package. "Don't worry. I'm planning on opening up a bookstore, you'll probably be good for business." She feels like she should probably take her tea and go sit down but Sam passes over a thing labeled cream and a few packets of sugar, so she just stays. "Everyone likes to drink coffee while reading, right?"

He gives her a thoughtful look and then his eyes slide to something past her and then back. "You know, you have a really good point."

"About?"

"Coffee and books. Can't go wrong with that combination," Sam says thoughtfully. Kate comes back around the counter and throws a dirty towel at him. She has surprisingly good aim, hitting Sam in the side of the head.

"Stop being a flirt or I'll tell Bucky."

Sam throws the towel back in her general direction but it falls a few feet short. 

"Bucky?" Carol asks.

Sam smiles and carefully peels something from the front of the cash register. It's a small photo of two men, one of which was obviously Sam. The other had his cheek smushed against Sam and something in his grin made it look like he had ambushed Sam with the camera. "Bucky. Boyfriend."

Carol recognizes the other man after a minute, he'd been the one above the coffee shop, that very first day. "You guys look cute together," she finally says.

"Disgustingly so," Kate chimes back in, coming out from the back and making her way over to them. "The whole nine yards. Live together. Share each others clothes, sigh while staring at each others asses."

Carol bites back her laugh only because Sam looks like he might consider hiding under the counter. "Maybe one day I'll get to meet your Mr. Right."

"If you plan to stay around, he's hard to miss."

Carol takes a sip from her tea and realizes she's finished it during their short conversation. "I should go, get back to figuring this whole mess out."

Kate takes the mug from her and disappears again. Carol gets a feeling that she had been waiting for Carol to finish. Sam busies himself with putting the picture back on the register. "It'll work out. You just gotta be more stubborn then the bullshit tearing you down."

She doesn't point out that it's not quite the same. She doesn't have anyone like his Bucky. There's no one to go home to but Chewie, if Chewie even counts. "We'll talk?"

"Of course, here," he fumbles under the counter and pulls out a card and quickly scribbles something across the back. It's a business card, Red Wing Cafe printed neatly on one side. "My number, cell and the one for this place. It was good to meet you Carol."

Carol manages a smile because Sam deserves that and he really does seem like a good guy. "Good to meet you too, I'll be back."

-

Bucky pauses when he hears someone yelling his name, half turning to see Steve jogging towards him. "There better be a good reason you're on my campus."

"Just taking a break from books," Steve grins and gives Bucky a tight one armed hug, despite Bucky sticking his tongue out at him and grumbling 'stalker' under his breath. "How are you? Haven't seen you in days."

"Exhausted, studying, I don't get to have a real job like you yet with your entrepreneur-ing." He punches Steve lightly in the side but doesn't shrug off the arm. They've been friends too long for that, seen too much of the dark in each other. Getting to smile and laugh together is still refreshing.

Steve grins and ruffles his hair. "You know that's all Carol, I'm just helping out."

"Helping out by buying in." Bucky stops when they reach one of the Starbucks' on campus. It feels like betrayal but he needs something with caffeine and Sam can take comfort from knowing Bucky won't enjoy it at all. If he ever finds out. "Can't believe you left the army, Mr. Career."

"Wasn't the same without you to order around," Steve teases.

Bucky ducks his head and shrugs. He's dealt with what happened to him, but he doesn't like to linger on it. "Well we're both back now. Still need to find you someone."

"Sam had to ask you out so you'll pardon me for not taking your advice."

"Yea well, fuck you, at least I'm dating someone. Unless you and Carol…she seems nice from what you've told me, even if she is from the Chair Force."

The barista clears his throat and Bucky realizes they've been standing at the front of line and holding things up. He quickly orders for both of them, cutting Steve off when he tries to say he's separate. "No, not interested in her, we're just friends," Steve jumps back to their conversation after they pay and step aside.

Bucky thinks he picks up a little bit of regret in Steve's voice but he doesn't push it. Bucky understands regrets and sometimes the best way to recover is to just move on. "Ah well, maybe after your business is up and running. We'll find some cute literary girl, the kind that have drink orders that Eli hates." 

"You're an ass, does Sam know that?"

"It's for your own good, what do you say?"

Steve shakes his head. "We'll see," he reluctantly sighs. Bucky grins and nudges him in the side. Steve rolls his eyes and nudges him back.

-

The first time Carol meets Bucky Barnes, it's almost seven in the morning. She's standing in the small storage room in the back of the coffee shop talking with Sam when Bucky comes barreling down the steps leading from the apartment upstairs.

He almost collides with Sam, except Sam already has an arm out to catch him, as if this is normal. "Please tell me there's a pot ready." Bucky kisses his cheek. His hair is a wreck and his shirt might not be buttoned correctly, he has a bag thrown over one shoulder, but somehow the whole thing is more hurt puppy then pathetic.

"Bucky, this is Carol." Sam nods at her and Bucky's head swings around seeing her for the first time.

He grins, all innocent boyish charm, and holds out a hand. "Sorry for the entrance, Bucky Barnes. You're Steve's boss, yea?" 

"Um yes, you know Steve?" She realizes as soon as she says it that it should be obvious, she knew Steve had some connection with Sam. Inevitably he would know Sam's boyfriend too.

"Of course, served with him." He extracts himself from Sam to go investigate the coffee, sighing in relief when he sees there really is some. For a second she thinks he's just going to stick his mouth under the spigot and drink straight from the urn.

"He's stuck his head in the espresso machine before," Sam murmurs, seeming to sense her train of thought. "Took a shot straight from the machine. He learned his lesson."

"I know you two are talking about me," Bucky grumbles over his shoulder, refilling his coffee cup before starting to fix his shirt.

"Yea well, you're a presence." Sam grins.

A smirk darts over Bucky's lips but he seems to think through what he's about to say before the words actually come out. "Coffee kicking in?" Carol asks.

"Yep." Sam grins. They can hear the swoosh of the door opening and with a gesture, Sam leads her back out to the main area. "So I guess the whole point of this is I like the idea?" He says after taking the customer's order. She moves to the other side of the counter before she can break something.

"We'll have to look into permits and such."

"Obviously. We could just stick in a door. That might avoid the issue."

"Are we doing construction work?" Bucky asks, he comes back out, somehow looking much more put together.

"Maybe, you going to class?" Bucky hums an affirmative, charging out a donut for himself. "Stop doing that," Sam sighs.

With the customer helped and gone, Bucky leans into kiss him. "You know I'll make it back for you."

Carol diverts her eyes, there's something in the way they look at each other and how Sam's arm curls around Bucky's waist, it's all personal. She wonders how long they've been together. 

"You can't pay me back with sex," Sam laughs.

"Liar, but I'll be back in a few hours." He gives Sam a quick kiss before he's moving away. "Good to meet you Carol. I uh, I'm sticky." He smiles apologetically and gives a small wave before darting out of the shore.

"Sorry about him, he's a bit much."

"It's…no, it's okay. I should get back, make sure Steve hasn't burned the place down or something."

"Wait! One second." 

"I don't really…" but she's drowned out by the sound of the espresso machine. He smirks at her, clearly knowing what he's doing. She never really drank much coffee, she didn't like how jittery it made her while in the jet, made her body feel untrustworthy though in the end it turned out coffee wouldn't be the cause of that. She forces the thought away, it's been months, she's doing okay, there's no reason to mope. He passes over two cups, forcing her to focus on something outside her head.

"Okay this one," he points to the one on the left with Steve written in big letters on the side, "is obviously for Steve. It's really fucking sweet. Caramel Macchiato with extra caramel and sugar because Steve has no taste buds. But you," he indicates the second cup,"seem like a more serious person. Simple and direct, so an Americano."

"Are you sure?" She digs out her wallet again to pay him but he very lightly rests his hand on hers to stop her.

"Don't worry about it, tell me what you think. It's on the house."

The woman waiting behind Carol peers over her shoulder, suddenly a few steps closer then is socially appropriate. "Trust him, he's the coffee whisperer," she whispers conspiratorially.

"Shut up Jess." Sam smiles warmly at her, taking away any sting from his words.

Jess winks at Carol and Carol finds herself smiling, feeling like she's being included in something special. "The coffee whispers?" She asks.

"Oh yes, if you ever don't know what you want, he somehow always figures out what's best for you."

"Jess is just trying to get a free drink," Sam says. Carol drags her eyes away from Jess and back to her coffee, quickly gathering the two cups up, reminding herself that Steve is waiting. "See you later Carol."

Carol quickly bids Sam good bye, and it's only polite to nod at Jess even though they've barely said more then a few words. Jess smirks and moves around Carol to place her order. Carol sneaks one last look back at her.

Steve glances up when Carol shoves the door to their shop open with a shoulder. "Delivery from Sam," she says, holding up the two cups.

Steve grins, holding out a hand for his and beckoning for her to join him on the floor. "What did he say?"

"Said he'd look into it, which means we should keep the wall clear."

He has the blue prints for the small shop laid out in front of him. She bends over to get a better look. Around them are half constructed shelves and boxes of books. There are more boxes in the backroom. She thinks she has enough that when they finally have the place arranged, she can fill most of her shelves.

They lose track of time bent over the blue prints, they've looked at them day after day, thinking they've figured it out before trying things out in reality and realizing it doesn't quite work right. But this time, looking at it with all their pen marks overlapping each other, blues and reds and a slash of yellow, it starts to make some kind of sense.

"Okay," she breathes.

"Okay?"

"Let's do this."

-

It takes a month to get everything finished. Sam closes the coffee shop for a day and all of his employees, including Bucky, join Carol and Steve in putting in a simple glass door between their stops. Kate comes over after her shift one day to help Carol and Steve stock the shelves. Bucky somehow finds a few more boxes for them but refuses to say where he got them.

"Did you steal them?" Steve asks, arms crossed sternly across his chest.

"Why the hell would I steal from books?" Bucky pushes the first of the boxes at him. "You're one of my best friends but be realistic here."

"I can't believe Bucky Barnes of all people just had to tell you to be realistic," Sam says, leaning in the doorway leading to the Red Wing.

They both tell Sam to stay out of it at the same time.

"Still happy you agreed to this?" Sam grins at Carol.

She fingers the chip hanging with her dog tags absently. Sam doesn't question or interrupt, sensing that she'd grown more serious despite Steve and Bucky continuing to bicker. It's her thirty day chip, it somehow felt more important then any she'd received since. Proof that she could do this, had done it. "For some reason, yea I think so."

Sam opens his mouth to respond when someone clears their throat behind them. Carol recognizes the woman from a few weeks ago, though her name slips away. "Hey Jess, how can I help? Did Eli go AWOL?"

Jess smiles and shakes her head, her gaze sliding from Sam to Carol. "If you weren't too busy, I was wondering if you'd like to join me for a coffee?"

Carol stares long enough that Sam kicks her in the shin. "Um, sure, yea."

"I'll tell Steve the shop is in his hands," Sam says and Carol has no reason to protest anymore. Jess leads the way to a small table in the corner, away from all the other occupied places. Eli shows up after a few minutes, setting down two mugs with a flourish.

"Enjoy, ladies."

Carol stares down at her coffee, not sure where to start. Dating wasn't a priority when she was serving, and then she could barely keep herself together, she wasn't going to put that on someone else. She thinks once she was good at flirting, but that feels like another life. Maybe accepting Jess' invite wasn't a good idea.

Jess grabs the spoon from Carol's fingers and carefully sets it aside. She leans in, ignoring her coffee.

"Sorry," Carol murmurs.

"Don't be. Tell me about yourself."

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Bastille's Laura Palmer.  
> Using for my AU: other square for Trope Bingo.


End file.
